Disclaimer: Not mine. Used and abused without permission.
Notes: Thanks to Mouse and Nicole for beta and to Melissa for telling me that short can be good. ;-) This airport is based more on the one in Winnipeg than Vancouver, but I don't reckon that matters much.
This one's for Barb. Just because.
------------------------------------
You don't know me, know you never will
Can't see inside me, lost out on the thrill
--S&S by EC
------------------------------------
What a time for a flight delay. Joe just had to come to the airport to see me off, as if he's not the reason I'm leaving. As if we weren't just whaling on each other yesterday, as if he wasn't fucking me senseless the night before *that*. What a fucked up few days it's been.
He's not making it any easier, standing up there on the balcony like a black cloud hanging over the crowd of tourists from Hong Kong or wherever--as if I wouldn't notice him, as if he's gonna *blend in*. I can feel his eyes on me as I move from one end of the departure lounge to the other. He's watching me closely through the glass like he just has to be sure I actually get on the damn plane. Why couldn't he have left me alone, this of all days? Just let me leave in peace?
Because peace isn't in him, that's why. Not in his vocabulary. It's not a cliche to claim he wouldn't know peace if it jumped up and bit him on the ass. Of course, Joe'd probably bite it back.
No, I refused to be amused by him right now. I need to stay pissed off so that I will actually get on the plane when they call my flight. I want to get on the plane...right? I must or I wouldn't have bought the ticket and packed up all my stuff and.... I'm here, so I'm going. After seventeen years, I'm finally going.
Joe crossed a line that I'm not sure was meant to be crossed, regardless of how it happened. Fooling around and teasing and pushing each other is one thing, but just taking it like that... We're better off apart. Well, I am anyway. I can't bring myself to care much about what'll happen to Joe right now.
I can't. He had his chance and his second chance and probably his third, fourth, and fifth over the years. The Hard Cores have been on a downward slide since Ed took over the managing and I am *not* going down with it. It's time for me to take my chance. It's my chance to finally see what life and music are like outside of Joe's shadow.
If there is such a thing.
The End.