Note: Most of this was written over a year ago, edited out of the story it was meant for, and stuck in a folder. Last night, I suddenly remembered the discarded scenes that I'd saved and realized that one of them could be rewritten for different characters. I'm pretty sure the only reason I had any inclination to try it was that collaborating with Nicole has recharged my writing batteries. So this is because of and for her. Thank you kindly, hon!
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Maybe I'm broken and I can't be fixed
misunderstood, misguided, misfit
--from "Hollowman" by Econoline Crush
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One year... It had been one year since Reese had decided to go to a party given by some people he barely knew. One year since he had taken a guy named Trevor home with him. One year since he'd allowed Trevor do things that no one else ever had and something that Reese had never dreamed possible. In short, it had been a year of hell. A hell that could be laid at Trevor's doorstep, assuming Reese knew where the bastard was now.
##
Pulling up at a stoplight, Reese idly inspected a group of young hustlers that stood around on the corner next to him. Only one caught his eye. Long dark hair falling into almond shaped brown eyes, the boy reminded him of that actor who once played a lawyer working for the Devil. No, younger than that, like in that Bill and Ted movie. Reese figured him to be around eighteen or nineteen, but he had a smooth androgynous look that could pass for anything from fourteen to twenty-five. The boy, in fact, looked a lot like Trevor except for eye color. Reese felt a sudden intense need to make him suffer for that.
He turned the corner and pulled over to the curb, staring at the boy until he approached. When the boy leaned into the open window to give some standard opening line, Reese just stared him in the eyes intently, trying to channel whatever it was that Trevor had done to make Reese so easy to control. The little hustler shut his mouth and got into the car without a word.
Reese was congratulating himself as he pulled away to find a more private place to park, when the boy suddenly shook his head and started giving Reese a rundown of his services and what each one would cost. Reese told him to shut up and the boy did it, causing Reese to smile with smug satisfaction as he drove behind an old grocery store that had apparently been closed up and abandoned. He parked the car in the darker shadows by the loading bay.
"Get out."
"For what? What do you want me to do?" The boy just sat there, a cool calculation in his eyes that made Reese want to smack him. Hard.
Restraining his violent thoughts for the moment, Reese sighed and rolled his eyes. "I want you to get your ass *out* of the *car*. What part of that don't you understand?"
"Yeah, okay. Just chill out, man." The kid got out of the car slowly, watching Reese the entire time. He seemed relieved when Reese got out and came around to stand at the front of the car. He actually smiled when Reese took out some bills and held them up.
"You get this after you suck me off. Do a good job of it and maybe you'll get a little extra." Reese tucked the money into the inside pocket of his jacket where it would be safe from sticky fingers.
The hustler dropped to his knees in front of Reese and started to open his pants. Reese twisted his fingers in the boy's long hair, which immediately made him think of Trevor--that son of a bitch. The anger the other man conjured in him brought Reese's fangs out, and made his body go from barely interested to completely aroused in seconds. The swift change almost gave him a head rush, except that all his blood was draining southward at the moment. The little Trevor-lookalike was good with his mouth. Obviously, he'd gotten plenty of practice on the street and Reese couldn't help but wonder about Trevor and how he'd do in this situation.
He'd be hot and beautiful and perfectly what Reese needed. He let out a bitter laugh at how present Trevor was in his mind, even though he wasn't physically there. Disgusted with himself for hating Trevor and wanting him so bad at the same time.
As he came in slow pulses in the boy's mouth, Reese bit his bottom lip to keep from crying Trevor's name--bit it so hard that a spray of blood spurted onto his tongue. The primal taste of his own life essence sparked a wild hunger in Reese, and watching the boy spit semen out onto the broken pavement fanned the flame higher. He jerked the boy to his feet and spun him around to lie gasping over the hood of the car. He rubbed his bare, wet cock against the tight denim of the hustler's firm little ass and was instantly hard again. He laughed under his breath because that never could have happened when he was still mortal, not on *this* side of thirty.
"Wait! I have rubbers in my pocket." The boy nearly shouted as Reese unzipped his jeans and bared his body to the cool night air. He almost ignored the frantic demand, relenting after a moment just to keep the kid quiet.
Reese reached around and withdrew a condom, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it down over his already aching erection. "Spit!" He shoved his hand in front of the boy's mouth and had to wait several seconds for the boy to work up some moisture. Reese could hear his tongue and throat working nervously, and it just made him hotter. Guess the little punk hasn't had any johns who liked it rough, he thought. Quite a surprise since that face practically screamed "hurt me."
Being a professional of sorts, the boy was already loose, so Reese shoved his cock right in with no preparation. His fingers would have been foreplay and he didn't think the little Trevor-wannabe deserved to enjoy it that much. The boy was surprisingly tight and very hot. Reese thought he could almost lose himself in the mindless rhythm, but that would be too dangerous, taking too great a risk--of discovery, of really getting lost. He pulled almost out then slammed back in hard. He was pushing the boy into the unforgiving metal of the car's fender, but the occasional whimpers only made Reese more crazed.
Leaning over the boy's back, he picked up the kid's head by his hair, turning it so Reese could see his face. His eyes were shut but there was a curious blankness--as if he was just waiting for it to be over. That would not do at all, Reese decided and shushed him with a soft kiss on the cheek, before licking the side of the boy's face, dragging his tongue over the angle of a cheekbone. The dark eyes flew open, wide and startled as Reese did it again, this time trailing his lips over his ear and down to his neck. By this time, Reese had stopped thrusting except for a desultory flexing of his hips, taking more pleasure in playing with the boy's mind than his body.
Whether Reese imagined it or it was real, the taste of confusion and slowly dawning terror on the boy's skin was intoxicating. Nipping at the tender neck, Reese let a fang prick the skin just enough to draw forth a few beads of blood. He rubbed the flat surfaces of his front teeth over the puncture and then raised his head, grinning to show the boy both blood and fangs.
As the hustler's sweet pink mouth opened and drew in air to scream, Reese drove his fangs deep into the boy's carotid artery. The breath caught in the kid's throat, a choked wheeze, then erupted out on a sigh that sounded positively blissful.
Swallowing the first gush of blood with an orgasmic moan, Reese spasmed and came deep inside the kid's body, feeling warmer than he had in a long time. He knew he should stop now, but he just couldn't make himself. He kept sucking and swallowing the magical elixir. He got mental flashes of a tiny apartment, yelling, a big man raising a leather belt, cold, a vial of a little white rocks, fear, a succession of faces male and female, a shiny sharp needle, relief.... And then the bliss that wound around a central core of lust and hunger expanded to the edge of darkness, exploding in a brilliant sparkling burst inside Reese's head.
Pulling away from--out of-- the kid with one last lick, Reese lay across the boy's back, feeling the cooling skin beneath the thin T-shirt as he breathed deeply and waited for the ecstatic energy to work itself through his body. After a few minutes, reality snapped back into place. He took off the condom and picked up the wrapper from the ground, placing them both in a discarded fast food bag for later disposal. The kid hadn't moved, so Reese smacked him across the back of the head. When that got no reaction he smacked him harder across the ass, watching in silence that was somewhat less than stunned as the lifeless body slid to the ground in an ungraceful heap.
Reese straightened his clothes and pulled up the boy's pants, then rolled the body around so he could take one more look. In death, the boy was just as beautiful, maybe more so than he had been in life. Skin whiter than any snow that Reese'd ever seen, dark eyes frozen wide with pleasure. The resemblance to Trevor was less pronounced but still there. Reese felt a little twinge of disappointment that the boy hadn't really suffered, but his conscience squashed the feeling with relief that his last moments had been good ones. The kid hadn't been long for this world anyway, with the lifestyle he was leading. Maybe...just maybe, he'd actually done the boy a favor.
Reese bent and folded the kid's malleable corpse until it fit into a box he'd found and stuck it into the trunk of his car. He'd toss it into the incinerator in the basement of his building later. As he pulled his car back out into the street, he considered that a year ago he would have been incapable of such cold, methodical thinking. If he had--heaven forbid-- killed someone a year ago, he would have been hysterical with guilt and remorse. He wouldn't have been able to think of what to do next.
A little bit more of his humanity slipped away and he wondered what he'd be capable of a year from now.
He parked his car three blocks from the club and walked the rest of the way. It was a rough neighborhood, but no one bothered him. They instinctively knew that it would be a bad idea. He flashed his fangs to the doorman in identification and was let into what looked like a condemned factory from the outside.
Electronic dance music pulsed through the air in almost visible waves and a multitude of bodies writhed together on the big dance floor in the center of the room. Reese went straight to the bar and ordered a shot of Jim Beam and a Rolling Rock chaser. He tossed the whiskey back and then took a long sip of the beer. He held one hand up in front of his face. Steady as a fucking surgeon. The thought made him flinch inside and wonder how long it would be until he got the urge. How long would it be until the loneliness overwhelmed him and he made one? Until he doomed some other poor stupid sap to this hellish existence?
Until he became like Trevor? Now that did give him pause. Is that what was destined to happen to him? Could he live with it if it did? Could he live with what he just did to the kid in his trunk? Just because he didn't care at the moment didn't mean he wouldn't when the blood and sex had faded from his system.
As he drained off the last of his beer, he motioned to the bartender for another. When the man brought it over, Reese leaned over the bar and asked if he'd heard from Trevor.
The bartender's brow crinkled and he shouted back, "Which Trevor would that be again?"
"Trevor Darien. About five-eight, black hair, light green eyes, skinny--"
"Oh yeah, that one," the bartender interrupted. "He was here just a little while ago. He's probably dancing."
"Thanks." Reese paid for his drink, adding a generous tip, and started working his way across the room. Last he'd heard, Trevor was in Chicago or Detroit or someplace in the Midwest, so he hadn't actually expected him to be in town. But he must have been hoping, since he'd thought to ask about him for the first time in a month. Reese wasn't stupid or soppy enough to think that Trevor had come for Reese's anniversary. The bastard probably never gave him a thought.
Skulking around the edge of the dance floor, Reese finally caught a glimpse of Trevor in the very center, right under the mirrored disco ball. He sipped his beer and watched the slim black-clad figure gyrating to the pounding music, damp dark hair flying around his face as he smiled up at the taller man next to him. For a second it seemed, perhaps impossibly, that Trevor's eyes met Reese's before he swirled around and started dancing with someone else.
And in a moment of clarity so sharp that the music dimmed to a distant hum, Reese knew what he had to do. He almost laughed at how clear it all suddenly seemed. He gave his empty bottle to a passing waiter and walked out onto the dance floor, as the music seemed to swell up around him. He bobbed his head and moved his shoulders to the rhythm as he walked up behind Trevor and touched the back of his neck.
Trevor spun around and plastered himself up against Reese, grinning as Reese ground his hips against him. They continued to writhe and thrust against each other until the song changed, and Reese grabbed Trevor's hand and led him off the dance floor.
The back room was more of a long dark corridor lit by black lights and punctuated by the smell of sex and blood and the sound of scattered moans and one quickly cut off scream. Winding casually through couples and a threesome or two made up of various gender combinations, Reese led Trevor to the very end of the room which few people reached before getting too impatient and just going at it wherever they happened to stand. Reese knew the smartest thing would be to leave this place altogether, but he knew Trevor wouldn't put up a fight over coming to the back room, and he hadn't. He probably saw nothing unusual in wanting to grab a standup quickie with a dozen or so strangers nearby doing the same thing.
When Trevor turned and slammed him against the wall, Reese allowed it. He allowed his mouth to be plundered and his cock to be groped through his pants, reveling in the heat that swept through him. When long clever fingers started to unzip his fly, Reese grabbed them and waited for Trevor to open his eyes before saying, "Do you even know who I am?"
Trevor shrugged and squinted through the darkness for a moment with a quizzical smile playing around his lips. He started to say something but Reese cut him off with another question, "Do you know *what* I am?"
"Well, I would assume you're a vampire if you're in this place." Trevor leaned forward and buried his face in Reese's collar, drawing in a deep breath. "I can smell fresh blood on you, and come so I know I'm not exactly going where no man has gone before." He started to open Reese's pants, but once more Reese stopped him.
"I'm a killer. A monster." Reese jerked Trevor closer and snarled, "You made me this way."
A smile slowly broke over Trevor's face and he crowed in what sounded like honest delight, "Reese, of course! I remember you, my pet, very well. Been getting along well I see."
Nonplused, Reese stared at him in silence for a moment and then said savagely, "No, I have bloody well *not* been getting along well, you fucking bastard. You ruined my life."
"What life?" Trevor scoffed, "You had no life as I recall. I made you better than you were. I *gave* you life."
"I don't want to... You deserve to die." Reese twisted his hands in the soft cotton of Trevor's black T-shirt, almost lifting him off his feet. "You have to die or kill me. I don't want to become a monster like you."
Trevor tilted his head and made a tsking sound that was almost sympathetic. He spoke with dawning wonder in his voice. "You ungrateful little whelp. I gave you a great gift and you're throwing it in my face. Do you really want to die? Crumble to dust and cease to exist. Is that what you want?"
"What I *want* is for you to suffer even half of what I have gone through this past year." Reese squeezed his eyes closed and tried to steady his voice when he spoke again. "I lost my job because I couldn't go to work every morning. I've lost my family--how could I explain to mom and dad why I couldn't come to Easter dinner? I live in terror that someone will find out what I am. I've done...bad things. I killed a boy tonight."
Trevor sighed loudly. "And that's all my fault, is it? You can't make your life work, and *I* am to blame? Fuck off, you little twit. Everyone suffers losses. If your life was so wonderful, you'd have never agreed to accept my gift."
With a burst of hopeless rage, Reese lifted Trevor off the floor and shook him hard. "I didn't know what it was, damn you. I didn't know." He ignored the tears streaming down his face as he continued brokenly, "I didn't know."
Trevor's eyes seemed to glow as he stared hard into Reese's and said in a deeper, resonant voice, "Put me down now. Put me down and calm down, Reese. You don't want to hurt me."
Reese found himself following orders, but his confused hatred ran too deep to be silenced by whatever glamour Trevor cast over him. "I do, I... I wanted him. I fucked him because he looked like you. I killed him because he reminded me of you. I wanted to kill you, but now...I want to die."
"And you want me to do the deed? Did you think you could handle me roughly and I'd snap and put you out of your misery?" Trevor shook his head and said, "I don't want to kill you. I tried to save you and this is the thanks I get."
"Save me? *Save* me?" Reese stared at him, too livid to continue.
"Well, yeah. I saved you from a terribly boring existence."
With a cry of rage, Reese flung himself at Trevor, lips drawn back, fangs fully extended, aiming for his throat. Trevor stepped to one side and grabbed Reese's right arm, twisting it up behind his back. He pressed his lips to the side of Reese's face and whispered into his ear, "You want to die that badly? Wait until sunrise and walk outside. Poof. Problem solved."
Reese swallowed hard as that velvet voice wreaked havoc on his insides. The hell of it was, he almost wanted the bastard again. He stamped down hard on his libido and shakily said, "There'd be no justice in that."
Trevor's husky laugh sent shivers down his spine. "Oh, you want *justice*. Well, why didn't you say so? Anything else I can get you, while we're at it? How about some mercy, liberty, and charity? Will that satisfy your thirst for moral reparation?"
"Don't laugh at me. You made me."
"I'm not laughing at you, my pet. Well, yes I am, but still..." Trevor sighed and loosened his hold on Reese's arm. "What do you expect me to do? What will make it all better?"
"Kill me before I hurt someone else." Reese forced himself to meet Trevor's amused gaze. "I won't ask to fuck you one more time for old time's sake. Our old times weren't all that great."
"Oh, I beg to differ. The week we spent together was quite wonderful. We must have fucked two dozen times, and that is the one thing I do very well, if I may say so."
"Yeah, it was fine, but there was all the rest."
Trevor drew himself up in what looked like genuine shock. "You didn't enjoy our blood games?"
"No. Yes. I did...at...at the time, but later when you were gone, it... I knew it was sick and wrong and I was...sorry." Reese remembered to well the horror that had set in when he'd realized what he'd done, what he'd become, and it sickened him still.
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that, my pet." Trevor smiled sadly and then nodded. "You shall have your justice." He glanced around at the other occupants of the room for the first time and added, "But not here. People might get the wrong impression."
"Yeah, we wouldn't want anyone to know what you are."
"What we *all* are, Reese. The rest of us just handle it better
than you."
##
It seemed appropriate that the moon would be full. It hung heavy and bright in a clear midnight sky, and sparkled like diamonds in the waves that tumbled up onto the beach.
While Reese stood silently watching the ocean, Trevor broke a branch off a larger piece of driftwood and whittled it into a stake. He took his time and made sure that the point was very sharp, so it would cause as little pain as possible. He didn't want to do this, but he felt he owed it to the man. He refused to think about that too deeply because he'd still have to look at himself in the mirror tomorrow night.
"Are you ready, Reese?" Trevor asked softly, giving him one more chance to change his mind. "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?"
Reese turned to face Trevor as he approached. "Yes. I'm ready. If you would..." His voice trailed off and his eyes shifted back to the water. "Would you drink from me? One last time?"
"Of course, my pet." Trevor gripped the stake tightly in one hand and wrapped the other around Reese's back. His mind drifted back to the night he first met Reese. He'd been heavier then, his brown hair short and neatly trimmed. There'd been the sparkle of untapped potential in his bright blue eyes that Trevor had found incredibly sexy. So much of that was gone now, but when he sank his teeth into Reese's throat, his cock hardened almost painfully.
As the blood filled his mouth and pulsed down his throat, Trevor got flashes of loneliness, of pain sharp and acrid, of an old man turning away in disgust and an old woman crying. Flashes of bloodlust burning in his veins, of a young man with black hair and almond eyes. As he swallowed Reese's blood, Trevor saw the boy kneeling at Reese's feet and swallowing his come. The bitter taste filled his head and he got a flash of the boy's fear as Reese jerked him to his feet, and then...nothing. Trevor ripped his fangs free of Reese's throat as his head rolled limply to one side.
Trevor pressed one last kiss to Reese's slack lips and then plunged the stake into his chest. Left with nothing but a dark blue shirt lying empty in his hand, Trevor dropped it to the ground and wiped the dust off his own clothes.
Then he walked away, wondering vaguely what happened to the boy's body.
The End.