Joe rolled out of bed with his usual horking cough, but soon realized that something was different today. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was 7 am. Well, he hadn't seen that hour from this side in a long time, but he didn't mind.
He went to the bathroom and took a good long look at himself in the mirror, which was something he tried to avoid before a pot of coffee or a snort of coke, whichever was handiest. Ahh, but today... His eyes were sparkling a most pleasant shade of blue, and his mohawk looked nice and shiny. All he needed was some eyeliner and lip gloss and he'd be gorgeous. Of course, for that he'd have to go over to John's place.
Digging through the clothes piled on the floor next to his bed, Joe was disgusted with what he saw. Ripped sweaters and nasty jeans just would not do. He went out in the hall and listened at the door of his neighbor's apartment for a moment before picking the lock.
Creeping quietly into the bedroom, Joe made sure his neighbor wasn't home before going through his closet. The khaki pants were a little tight, but when he turned just right, he could see they made his butt look *great*. And the soft baby blue pullover was perfect. It really set off his eyes. He politely locked the door back when he left.
Walking down the street with a smile on his face, Joe thought Vancouver was such an enchanting city that even the rain was beautiful. He didn't even mind that he had to stop in at a little shop and pick up an umbrella to protect his clothes and hair. He gave the rainbow-striped umbrella a twirl and giggled.
Oh yes, he did. He *giggled*. Giggled *giddily*.
He was still giggling when he ran into Mary. He immediately put his umbrella over her head and said, "Hi, Mary. Don't you look pretty today?"
Mary raised a hand to her waterlogged hair and scowled at him. "That's not funny, Joe. If you and Billy hadn't taken my car last night, I wouldn't be out in this mess."
"And miss all this?" Joe scoffed, waving a hand at the busy street choked with grumpy pedestrians and noxious gas spouting automobiles. "You've got to get out and smell the roses, honey."
Mary stared at him for a moment, before asking, "Okay, and what kind of drugs are you on?"
"I'm high on life, babycakes!" He held up his hand and inspected his nails. "Think Johnny has some nail polish too? Maybe I should stop by the drug store and pick up my own, since we are totally different seasons."
"S-seasons? Uhh, I have to go."
Mary dashed away with an odd look on her face, but Joe couldn't be bothered to figure out what was wrong with her. Girls were so flighty. He liked hanging with the boys ever so much better.
Mary's car was outside Johnny's apartment building and Joe almost squealed his delight that Billy was here too. But only *almost*, because he was still Joe, even though he was now gay gay gay!
He skipped up the stairs and threw open Johnny's door. He stepped into the room, flipped a hand dramatically over his head, and said, "Heeeere's...Joey!"
John and Billy looked up from their bass and guitar respectively and stared at Joe as if he'd lost his mind. Joe sniffed and stuck out his lower lip in what he hoped was a becoming pout. "What? I can't be fabulous once in a while?"
"uhhh... I have to...I have to go." John set down his bass carefully and bolted from the room with a look of terror on his face.
Billy took in the total New-Joe package from what looked like a girl's sweater down to the blindingly white Nikes. "You feeling okay, Joe? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Language, William!" Joe tsk-tsked, "You're gonna get wrinkles on that pretty face if you keep frowning like that."
"Freak."
"Oh, Billy," Joe sighed. "I'm happy and I want you to be happy. I wanna see that sexy smile all the time."
"Sexy...? Are you gonna share whatever drugs you're on?"
The door slammed open before Joe could answer and Mary stormed in. "I want my car keys now, Billy. I'm going back to Regina where people don't turn gay over night!"
"What are you talking about?" Billy started digging in the pocket of his jeans for the keys, but stopped and stared hard at Joe who had drifted into the kitchen and was now smiling at his reflection in the side of John's toaster.
"Haven't you noticed anything weird about Joe?"
Billy watched Joe as he walked over and sat down next to Billy, crossing his legs neatly at the knee. "Uh, yeah, I noticed. Have a safe trip."
Joe smiled and batted his eyelashes, and waited for Billy to make the first move.
"You wanna get outta here, Joe? Looks like John's done for the day." They both glanced toward the bathroom door where wretched sobs could be heard. "Wanna go back to your place and write some songs?"
Joe grinned and nodded emphatically. "I've been thinking we need to add some ballads to our repertoire. Some nice love songs, maybe."
"Joe, I didn't mean *write songs*. I meant fucking *write songs*." Billy raised one eyebrow and added, "I won't need my guitar."
"Oh, I get it. But could you bring it anyway?" Joe winked. "You look so sexy holding it."
Billy put his guitar in his case and only jumped slightly when Joe picked up the loose tails of his shirt and said, "Maybe we could go shopping later. You know, Billy, there's more to life than plaid flannel and denim. And what is the deal with all this black all the time? I've been going around like a gloomy Gus when, with my coloring, I could pull off even the most daring fashions."
Billy shook his head and sighed. "That must have been one big-ass
bag of drugs you took."
The End.