untitled SGA/BSB crack crossover
Author: Coreopsis
Pairing: John Sheppard/Nick Carter, also John/Rodney-ish
Rating: porn
Disclaimer: Neither the real people nor the fitional ones belong to me. I'm sorry.
For Erilyn. She made me write crack and it was fun. *g*

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During his month of leave on Earth, John Sheppard did many interesting things, not the least of which was discovering that pop singers gave amazing blowjobs.

He also discovered that the SGC could do pretty much anything, so when he casually mentioned to Sergeant Harriman that he sure would like to go to that upcoming Backstreet Boys concert, he was surprised to have an envelope containing two tickets and backstage passes in his hand the very next day. He had no idea what to do with the second ticket because he didn't have many friends in Colorado Springs and this was kind of his guilty secret that he wasn't sure he wanted to share with either Rodney or Elizabeth.

Harriman must have read his expression fairly accurately because he cleared his throat. "Sir, if I may make a suggestion. Sergeant Siler is a fan and he can be trusted to be discreet."

So two days later, John found himself backstage before a Backstreet Boys concert, clutching his brand new copy of Never Gone and desperately trying not to stand out too much. Siler had abandoned him pretty quickly to talk to a variety of techs and roadies, ignoring the Boys altogether. John leaned against a wall and watched the Boys sign autographs and pose for pictures with a couple dozen fans, mostly grown women and not the teenage girls he'd expected. There were a few guys in there as well, but none that made the idea of getting in line anymore comfortable for John. They were just all so young.

As the time approached for John to go and find his seat--his really excellent seat, thank you Sgt. Harriman--he looked up from covertly studying the way AJ's jeans hung off his hips to find Nick Carter approaching him with a smile. "Hey, did you want an autograph or are you a dad?" Nick tilted his head at a couple of the younger fans still hanging around.

"No! I mean, an autograph would be okay," said John, shoving the CD case at Nick's open hand. "I'm not a dad. Definitely not a dad."

"Good." Nick laughed and his eyes lit up, sending warmth through John's whole body. He signed the CD booklet and then capped the Sharpie and twirled it between his fingers. "I mean, it's nice to have a wide range of fans. We like to appeal to a lot of different people."

The line sounded like it had been rehearsed for an interview, but John didn't care at all and found himself smirking as he took the CD back and slipped it in his jacket pocket. "Well, you certainly appeal to me."

Nick continued to smile but somehow his whole face shifted to an expression that would not be appropriate for an interview, unless it was possibly with Playboy. "Wanna go for a drink after the show?"

"Sure you won't be too tired? I caught your show in Japan several years ago and it was pretty energetic."

"Yeah, we're not doing quite as much dancing this time around." Nick looked John up and down quickly but thoroughly. "I'll still have plenty of energy. Meet me right here after the concert and I'll show you."

***

John and Siler sat in the very excellent seats and enjoyed the show. They laughed when Brian made fun of Nick and then again when Howie and Kevin seemed to both be flirting with AJ at the same time. After a couple of self-conscious glances at each other, they started quietly singing along with some of the older songs.

***

After the show, John said goodbye to Siler and made his way back to the spot where he'd promised to meet Nick. He'd been standing there for nearly ten minutes when Kevin walked by and said, "He'll be out in a sec."

"Thanks. Hey, great show!" John called after him and then grinned when Kevin turned and gave him a brilliant smile in return.

"Hey." Nick had sidled up next to him while he was turned away. He was dressed in plain jeans and a red t-shirt and managed to look like an average guy, except for being really, really hot. "I just realized I forgot to get your name before."

"Oh, yeah. It's John." He held out his hand for a shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, John," Nick said very seriously as he shook John's hand. Then he grinned again. "Wanna go make out in my limo?"

John blinked, considered what a bad idea this was and then nodded. "Sure."

"Follow me," said Nick as he turned and started to walk away.

John looked down at the perfect curve of Nick's ass. "Not a problem."

***

In the limo, Nick courteously offered John a drink, which John turned down. He really didn't need alcohol to feel drunk because this whole situation bordered on surreal as it was. A week ago, he'd been in another galaxy and now he had Nick Carter sliding his hand up John's thigh and licking his neck.

Sometimes, when he could forget about all the pain and hardship and the Wraith, John really, really loved his life.

John wrapped his arms around Nick and sunk into a long lazy kiss. He flicked his tongue over Nick's lips and shivered when Nick unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his jeans. He gasped when Nick left his mouth and knelt down on the roomy floor of the car and spread John's legs so he could in between them. Nick pulled John's zipper down and then stopped. "Can we go to your place?"

"I'm in from out of town. Staying with a friend." John looked away from those probing blue eyes and felt a twinge of guilt. "I don't think he'd be very understanding."

"Okay, we'll go to the hotel then, but we're pulling out really early in the morning so you won't be able to stay long."

John thought about Nick's ass again and shook his head. "Not a problem."

Nick pushed a button and told the driver where to go then turned back to John. "Now, where were we?"

Before John had a chance to answer, Nick pulled John's cock out of his jeans and took it in his mouth. He didn't tease or fool around, just got right down to sucking. John wasn't sure what to do with his hands so they hovered in midair until Nick reached up and lowered one to the back of his head and placed the other on his shoulder. It wasn't long before John was clutching that shoulder and twisting the hair between his fingers and pushing his ass back against the seat, all so that he wouldn't arch his hips up and start fucking Nick's lush sweet mouth.

Nick hummed and John came and they both grinned like idiots at each other while Nick wiped the corner of his mouth and John tried to get his breath back.

***

In the hotel room, Nick stripped his clothes off, quickly and unself-consciously, and then sprawled on the bed and told John to give him a show.

John stood there for a moment, his hands frozen on the shirt tails he'd just pulled from the front of his jeans. He gave a mental shrug and started to unbutton his shirt slowly and teasingly. He'd already come once so he had plenty of time to kill before trying again.

"So, what do you do?" Nick asked, stroking his hand over his cock almost absently.

"A little of everything." John shrugged one shoulder out of his shirt and then the other. "I usually top but I don't mind switching."

"That's good to know, but..." Nick shook his head and giggled. "No, I meant for a living."

"Oh." John laughed because it was just too ridiculous not to. "I work for the government. I can't really tell you more than that. I mean, I could tell you more but I'm not allowed to."

"Ooh," crooned Nick and John couldn't tell if he was being mocked or not. The interest in Nick's eyes suggested not. "What are you, some kind of spy or something? 'Cause I'd totally be down with getting fucked by James Bond."

John kicked off his sneakers and toed off his socks, marvelling at his body's increasing eagerness to have sex again. Real soon. When Nick grabbed a condom and tube of lube from a small leather bag on his nightstand, John shucked off his jeans and boxers without an ounce of finesse.

Climbing onto the end of the queen-sized bed, John crawled up between Nick's widespread legs, stopping to drop a kiss to the side of his knee and then drag his tongue up the inside of Nick's thigh. He gave Nick's erection a long teasing lick and nuzzled Nick's belly while he held out one hand for the supplies.

Nick quietly murmured his approval as John rolled the condom on and slicked his fingers with lube, but he yelled "Fuck yeah" really loudly when John tugged on a nipple ring with his teeth while slowly pushing his fingers into Nick's ass. John wanted to prepare him carefully and take it slow, but Nick tugged at his arm and lunged forward to catch John's mouth with his own. "That's enough, I'm ready, just fuck me now."

The words were hot and fast and desperate against John's open mouth and he had to rear back and close his eyes for a second before he could actually do it. But then Nick's hands grasped his biceps and tugged impatiently at him, and John grabbed Nick's hip with one hand and lined up his cock with the other, and then he was pushing, pushing, slow and steady.

With a frustrated grunt, Nick thrust his hips up off the bed, taking John in with devastating speed. John propped himself up on both hands and started fucking Nick in earnest, slow strokes starting shallow and then going deeper and faster as Nick writhed and urged John on. John looked down at Nick's face, at the mouth that was too pretty and the eyes that were the wrong shade of blue and wondered what the fuck he was doing here. And then Nick moaned and wrapped his legs around John's hips and John ceased to think. He shifted his weight to one hand so he could pump Nick's cock with the other and a few seconds later Nick came with a gasping wail and John followed a moment or two later, giving into the orgasm with the helpless silence of falling into a black hole.

***

A loud pounding woke John from a sound sleep. Nick tightened an arm around his waist and snuffled into his neck before muttering something unintelligible against his skin. The pounding got louder and a voice called Nick's name, and apparently that's what it took to really wake Nick up because he sat up in bed.

"Just a minute," he yelled toward the connecting door and then turned to John and said, "I'd like to offer breakfast or something, but it's time to go. Howie might be a little...upset if he finds you here."

"Yeah, okay, I don't want to know." John nodded and got out of bed to find his clothes. He was just tying his shoes when Howie opened the door.

"Nick, you slut. I can't leave you alone for a minute."

"Two words for you, Howie: Christian. L.A." Nick flopped back on the bed. "I love you, dude, but you got a weird thing with him so I get to have little things--"

"Hey!" John interrupted, slightly insulted.

"Little flings, then, like this."

"Paris." Howie spit the word out like it was poison and John had no idea why. "Was more than a little fling."

"Howie, you bitch! Haven't I suffered enough already?" Nick flung a pillow at Howie's head and John took the opportunity to grab his jacket and slip out into the hall unnoticed. The two men were still yelling at each other so they probably didn't notice that he was gone.

***

On the way to Rodney's apartment, John had the cab driver stop at a Krispy Kreme for doughnuts and coffee because he thought he and Rodney would need them both when he shared this story.

***

Rodney stared at him down the length of the kitchen table as he shoved the last of chocolate frosted doughnut into mouth and washed it down with a generous swig of coffee. He shook his head and then took another sip of coffee before finally speaking. "I don't know which is more boggling. That you're a groupie or that you actually listen to the Backstreet Boys."

"I'm not a fucking groupie. I have diverse musical interests." John started to wonder what kind of strange hold Rodney had on him that made him share things he probably shouldn't. "When I was stationed in Germany for nearly a year in the mid nineties, they were everywhere. It was either learn to like them or go insane. I chose the path of least resistance."

"You're a teenaged groupie."

"See if I ever tell you my starfucker stories again."

"You have more? Oh my...was it one of the New Kids on the Block? Or oh, I know, George Michael and you met him in a public restroom."

John rolled his eyes and shook his head. "And here I thought you'd be all weird about the sex with guys thing. You keep surprising me, Rodney."

"You wouldn't be surprised if you just paid attention," Rodney said, giving him a pitying look as he reached for another doughnut.

That stopped John in his tracks. "You?"

"Well, I haven't banged any boybands, but yeah, not particularly straight and narrow."

"Oh." John thought about it and a slow smile spread across his face. "Oh."

"If you're lucky," snorted Rodney. "Maybe."

Then he smiled and John definitely felt like this could be his lucky day.

The end.

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